Becks' Domain

Wow, I haven't realized it's been so long since I wrote here!  Almost two whole months!  I guess I have just been extremely busy with school... and Courtney's wedding...!

So I went to the wedding last month and I got to meet Danny my new "brother-n-law" and I absolutely adore him! I am so glad Courtney married Danny, I couldn't see a better husband for her!  They are amazing to watch together, all that compatibility is striking to me probably just because I have never had a "good" relationship. Or a relationship worth counting for that matter.  Having "married her off" I have been adopting her parents sense of "empty-nest syndrome" and even though I don't live with her, I used to talk to her everyday or about and she always be there for me whenever I needed her.  But now, things have changed,  Danny is a great guy though, I have to remember that. Danny isn't going to let their marriage come between me and Court I know it.  Actually, he even texts me too. Especially when they arrived to the different places before their honeymoon, so maybe I should just relax.  But I wont lie, it is hard.

When I came back I was still without a boyfriend and still without a date (as if I thought any differently)! So I thought my new sense of self-worth would change how I appear to others. [Not in physical sense, but more like my self-confidence.]  Well nothing really changed.  I guess thats sorta obvious. 

Everyone knows that I love Amanda to pieces, but there is one thing that I can't tell her that is sort of bugging me.  Amanda is a very outgoing person and loves to be social. {The girl after my own heart! Or visa-versa.) But lately her socialness has been getting on my nerves... not because I don't like her being upbeat all the time but because it seems like she takes my socialness away.  What I mean is that there are two really drop-dead gorgeous guys at my current school and she is friends with both of them.  Not that being friends with them is a bad thing, because its really a good thing, but she has a very flirtacious nature about her.  So I feel like these guys are after her instead of looking at me. (I know, I know, I sound really selfish right now!) My nurses or people who helped me in the past weren't as flirtacious and social as her which is why I didn't really get along with them in the first place.  But I have to tell people and especially my "guy" friends that Amanda is married and has a son.  She does that too, don't get me wrong, she isn't going to cheat on her husband.  I still feel that the guys are more after her and not even noticing me.  Amanda says she can't help her nature and I don't want her to change and most of all I don't want her to leave me for anything.  Why is it so difficult for me to have an attractive nurse/helper/person and expect guys to fall for me? Is it just me or am I really getting at something here?  :|

I think by now you guys know who I am and know that I am pretty genuine and caring. I have to go to bed now, I am really wiped.  But maybe someday I'll come back and write more.